i caught you enveloped in a hustling pattern somewhere near college & state
my stomach did a back flip and landed somewhere near my knees,
climbed back up my spare ribs & folded itself neatly back between arteries.
i imagine presenting my heart to you, wrapped in ribbons & bows;
& you, with your cautious fingers, speculating an unresponsive muscle.
this was my gift for you, after dry heaves & obtuse paragraphs;
all i could draft was a cheap body & a mangled engine.
i can't imagine you welcoming such a disaster with open arms.
let me turn the dial to a brighter light; illuminate this time last year,
when i was unbalanced & you were unassured, unforgiving.
if i share these past parcels with you, would i register a new reaction,
would intervals adjust & past episodes recast?
i would ask these things with a inquisitive tone.
& you might bend a little, and give me one of those half-hearted pat-hug concoctions,
that translate into, 'i am still unassured, and only a little more forgiving.'